last saturday was a blast... i met up again with HS friends... i had fun... aside from the fact that i have been quite glad that foster brother and fb's officemate got along (pretty well) with my HS batchmates. one thing i appreciate really with foster brother was his being WHOLE as a person... as a human... i am quite glad that he's my foster brother... oh well... i am just quite lucky to have him... he is sensitive... he may asks questions that sometimes i refuse to answer, but overall... he is nice... and i REALLY would want him to be one of my brothers... lucky enough that my family is included in one of his journeys.---
i don't want to compare my brothers with foster brother... i mean, my brothers are my brothers and they are quite the best... no doubt about it... but, right now, we seem to have our own lives... you know what i mean... when we were still younger... back to good old days along arellano st. in davao, we had plenty of time to talk of things... to share stuff about ourselves... but growing up seemed to lead us to different directions... we had our own set of friends... and basically, the small talks at home decreased... that's why, i personally found it awkward talking about me... it would always be, about other people... HUGS! i know, i have been missing those days -- the times when i still have 3 brothers... partly, i would have wanted things to stay as they were...
way back in HS and even in college and even before Janjan left, i wanted my brothers to know who my friends were... who i hanged out with... i wanted to treat my brothers the way i treat my friends... i mean, i know that patience is not one of my best qualities, but with friends, i tend to have this infinite rope of patience... sometimes, i wonder why can't I be my brothers' friend? or the other way around... we were friends when we were younger... i would defend Janjan to other people, even if I knew he was not right, I still would defend him, but would scold him during private moments. When somebody would attack us, we would have this "formation" and strategize ourselves so we could protect each other... but, physically, we were not able to do this all the time, especially, during that fateful night...
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upto now, i still wonder if I have been a good sister to Janjan or did he ever consider me as his friend... i know i can be quite bitchy at home... it just that it pains me to know not knowing how he saw me as an individual who was basically part of his journey here on earth... HUGS... i also would want to know if I have been a good sister to manoy and king... we all have different lives now... manoy is now focused with his family (and my nephew)... while King has his studies and Marikina-life to think of... what does kakay think of??? hehehe! poor me! HUGS!!!
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two weeks before Janjan left, i was set to go back to d
avao to attend a HS reunion in LB... Janjan asked me to stay... i did not know that 2 weeks later he would be gone... partly, i blamed myself for choosing my friends over my brother... partly, i hated going back to davao for it would only remind me of Janjan... HUGS!!! i was like thinking of Davao as a reminder of pain... but for the past few months... i have been reminiscing how it was growing up in Davao... how i met individuals who turned out to be friends forever... how these set of friends, despite the years of not seeing each other -- are still the same old friends you used to argue, agree, and hang-out with... friends who have always been pretty supportive of you even way back in HS... friends who turn out to be your best advisor... your best constructive critical friends... HUGS!!!
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"...there are moments when i wish i could roll back the clock and take all the
sadness away, but i have the feeling that if i did, the joy would be gone as
well..." -- a walk to remember
i know... i am on my way now... i know, i will finally say that once again, I am home...
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to trip... HUGS! wala lang ako masabi!
...baka naman because your siblings are guys. Its harder to be close to them or even to make them part of your social life kse iba ang gusto mo at gusto nila. I tried to hang out with my brother with his officemates and orgmates recently and puro inom lang ang ginawa ko nung linggong yun... Tapos all they talked about are girls, engineering stuff and out of the country assignments...san ka pa?!
ReplyDeletehahaha! well,na point out yan dati ng kuya ko...pero there are things that they love doing (mountain climbing) that i wish they would include me man lang... kung sa inuman... kaya naman eh... wag lng sa labay! gets... :D
ReplyDeletehahaha! well,na point out yan dati ng kuya ko...pero there are things that they love doing (mountain climbing) that i wish they would include me man lang... kung sa inuman... kaya naman eh... wag lng sa labay! gets... :D
ReplyDeleteWell, kneecause told me that beginners should start with an easy climb because if you join a harder trail, you won't be able to keep up with the rest of the climbers especially if they have been doing this for years... syempre, alagain ka nila... basta, alam ko different ang bond ng siblings kesa friends.. mas special ang sa mga magkakapatid. =)
ReplyDeleteNAKS! TOUCHED AKO! Ü
ReplyDeleteMWAH!
triplet
been with my brother once kaso out of PE 1 yun... the thing is i also want to know who their friends are what they do often... i want to see them the way their friends do... minsan kse, masyadong thin lang line of friendship ng siblings because of the thick bloodline... kinda complicated to explain though... :)
ReplyDeletelike... Manoy is described to be one of the most lambing primo of Labay... our Primas loved him because of that... the thing is DATI, i never or i have refused to see that manoy was like that... pero things change... you know what i mean. :)
janjan was also basically malambing and so is king... what i love about Janjan was when i was in Davao he would make effort to invite me in his university's intrams or hang-out with his friends... which I kinda miss now... HUGS! King naman is like that... kaso he is more focused now with his future family. :) Hayyy! HUGS!