some blogging to do

I haven’t really blogged lately… my new environment is
building back my esteem (haha! once again)… :) I guess, divine (and mae)
clearly pointed out to me that I really am into NGO work… well, I guess into
development work… Prof. Cariño has emphasized last night that most of NGO people
would later pursue a career in government after they have utilized whatever talents
they have in their respective organizations… because after all, working in the
government is (still) public service… it still is serving the people… HAYYY!!!

 

Maybe… it was not just my time yet to work in the
government… or maybe I am still searching for that the job…

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I miss hanging out with good old pals… seeing divine in the house, was a relief of sort… I mean, we
did catch up on things… hahahaha! It’s just so nice to know that I am not alone
in a world where I thought that I am being paranoid of being labeled as a
feminist… not that I don’t want to be labeled as one, it’s just that I don’t
think I deserve to be labeled by friends as one mainly because I know that
whatever my stand over an issue is a product of the values that I have imbibed
through socialization, through experience… I always have this feeling lately
that friends perceive me as overly reacting on issues…it’s ok to be odd… but
just don’t force me to think the way you guys do… maybe I am not really a
conformist… I was not brought that way… yeah, there are times when discussions
would lead to debate and I do back off, mainly because, I find it hard
defending something that seems to be not so known to all…I know that I am
weird, and I don’t have to rationalize my being weird… :) I just need rest…
disconnection and all…

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Monday afternoon, a middle aged man came to our base… he was
selling an insurance plan… I bet he was the same age as my parents… seeing that
man brought a certain pang in my heart… I knew that he himself is a parent… and
perhaps he’s doing the selling thing for him to reach his quota for the day… to
bring food to his family… and I realized all of my blessings… life can be
tough… poverty is a challenge that all of us must overcome…

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both of my parents are in the states… both of them are
adjusting to their new lives… it’s like starting all over again for them… they
have to face the psychological implications of being an immigrant… they also
need to face the fact that their children are all here and that they have to do
things (like chores) all by themselves, to think they are no longer getting any
younger… the insurance guy reminded me of what could my parents fate in the
states be… they have to compete with the younger beings for jobs...

a friend was telling me that I am lucky because both of my
parents are in the states, and that I can opt not to work… little did that
friend know that I am actually pretty worried to lose a single pay day because I
find it hard asking money from my parents for I am unsure of how they live
their lives there…